Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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