hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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