Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i think i have herpe
just one?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
