Hey man sorry I got all grabby
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize