Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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