A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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