I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I love you.
Bad choice
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
