I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
