Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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