I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
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Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
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On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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