Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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