absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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