so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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