Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
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Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
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She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...