Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.