Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?