somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.