I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Houston, we have a squirter
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
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Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home