I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
