Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
