im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
