I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
should my penis look like a turkey
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
