we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
