have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize