Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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