the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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