The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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