My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
