I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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