I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
