either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
