her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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