So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
