God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Still dying that you shit outside
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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