he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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