9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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