the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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