why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is that strawberry winking at me??
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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