Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
