I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My life is pants optional.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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