Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
