Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
