return my video game
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
