I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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