I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
being pregnant is like rehab
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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