How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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