when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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