? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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