Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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