How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
