we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
