Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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