dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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