What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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