You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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