so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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