Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You don't make any sense
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