I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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