Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
