these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
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