Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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