She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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